Eclectic Echoes

Boy’s Christening & Baptismal Romper
Originally uploaded by eclectic echoes.

To celebrate the completion of the heirloom baptismal outfits I made to sell in The Blue Horse on Main St., Eric and Johann decided to give me a tea party. The food was already set. They had already bought fruit salad and I had already made their favorite baking soda biscuits. The day of the tea party, Eric and Johann went to the corner coffee shop to buy Assam tea and lavender flowers in order to surprise me with my favorite tea. We laid out a small white blanket on the floor and set it for a fancy picnic-style afternoon tea. Once the tape player would play my Enya tape rather than eat it, we had created the perfect atmosphere for our tea. I will never forget it.

My mother criticized me once for continuing to play with Johann and going on regular outings where we acted as if nothing was wrong. We just had fun. Didn’t I realize the trouble we were in? Apparently, we had no grasp of reality. But facing the grim reality of our less than ideal financial situation does not mean that we are not allowed to find meaning in life or still enjoy it. Johann’s childhood can’t be repeated. He needs parents who are present in the moment with him, people who can show him life is worth living despite its trials. He needs to learn how to keep his spirits up in hard times and persevere. He needs happy childhood memories.

Girls Christening & Baptismal Gown
Originally uploaded by eclectic echoes.

I think the mark of a good parent is that the child knows he is loved and respected and has many happy memories on which he can look back. He needs that as a foundation. He will be able to draw on it as a source of strength when he’s on his own as an adult. The tea party was such a special gift. We took a break from reality for an hour to just have some quality time together. Maintaining our closeness is vital now. Eric wasn’t an unemployed disabled veteran about to face retraining and redefining himself. I wasn’t a homemaker trying to be a business owner and seamstress, struggling with health problems, coping with extended family issues and fighting burn-out. We weren’t struggling to prove our worth in society, find purpose or survive another month. We were Daddy, Mommy and Johann, sharing our thoughts, feelings and dreams, giggling about silly things, telling make-believe stories. When it was time to shift back, we lingered. I had to get dinner on the table. Our bedtime routine and some last minute work on Eric’s part loomed over us. As I cleaned up I thought of how my mother would have only complained about the extra dishes and that would be the reason we would never do it again, or never have done it at all. I felt refreshed. Eric was relaxed and smiling. Johann was beaming. He had Mommy and Daddy all to himself, stress-free and undistracted. We agreed that we should have tea parties at least twice a month. That reminds me. It’s time to set the date for our next tea party.