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A Typical Week of Craziness

Eric and Johann keep life full of surprises. Besides our normal insanity, three funny things happened this week that I had to write about. A few days ago Johann made up another joke. What do you get when you cut a $100.00 bill in half? My answer was scrap paper. He said you get two $50.00 bills. When he asked if I got the joke, I said yes, but that the joke didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t find it very funny. He said that was the whole point. His jokes are about life and life doesn’t make sense. I can’t argue with that.

Before our company came to visit, Eric and Johann offered to help me by scrubbing the tub. Johann came to get me after they had finished. He was very excited and proud to show me the great job they did. They had used the Ivory bar soap. I wrongly assumed Eric remembered where the cleanser was. The best part was that they used the squirt guns to rinse everything off. I was annoyed Eric didn’t use the cleanser, but at least they did use some kind of soap and it did look and smell clean. That was good enough for me. And they had fun doing it. I thought, how very Benny-&-Joon-esque. As long as they don’t start using my iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches and buy a tennis racket to make mashed potatoes, I won’t complain.

Today Johann wanted to help set up for the library book donation sale at the bookstore. Friday through Sunday you can go into the bookstore and buy books for the library that the librarians have selected to add to their collection. Annie, one of the bookstore owners, kindly allowed us to be part of it. Johann was put in charge of the children’s books. I helped him unpack several boxes and then we arranged the books as nicely as we could on the table.

There were two activity books for kids. One was aimed at things for boys to do, the other was meant for girls. They appeared to be reprints of old crafting and camping how-to books, which probably had the girls keeping their dresses neat while embroidering, instead of having fun playing in the dirt, and had the boys learning how to build fires, but not learning other important skills, like how to mend your own clothes.

Johann found a place for the books and then announced loud enough for everyone in the store to hear, “I put the sex books there, Mommy.” Wishing no one else had heard, but knowing everyone had, I looked around to see how the ladies around me were reacting. Jane, another one of the bookstore owners, was laughing so hard her shoulders were shaking. One of the librarians, who was much older, looked as if all the color had drained from her face. She scurried over and asked me if there were really books about sex and they didn’t want those for the library. I explained that Johann meant to say “gender” not “sex”. I showed her the two books, as I felt my face become completely flushed, and explained there was one activity book for boys and one for girls. She said she understood, but still had a look of utter shock on her face as she went over to Jane at the other table. She never did laugh. I laughed and shook my head, asking myself why I was the one that always had to deal with these situations. Too bad the TV show “Kids Say the Darndest Things” is no longer on the air. Talk about prime material!

Life is typically like that around here. In the years to come, I will have so many more good, wacky stories to tell!


One Comment

  1. JimBobTX wrote:

    You would indeed have prime material for “Kids Say the Darndest Things”, and I have no doubts that you are right … you are going to be able to collect a lot more of them in the future!

    While it might sometimes be difficult to laugh about it “in the moment”, at least you can do so looking back on it!! That is something a lot of folks never learn to do.

    Now I must admit also, I never would have thought of a bar of Ivory Soap and squirt guns to wash the bath tub!!!!!!

    Saturday, April 19, 2008 at 6:33 am | Permalink

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